| Tracing back the paths that I have taken...the paths that have lead me closer to some and away from others...So many points of intersection/points of divergence...I am thankful for the place that God has graciously lead me to and for the people that I have come know...even though at times I gripe, stew in pools of uncertainty, and wander aimlessly...even in the midst of wandering, I am not forsaken and the steps that I take do not go unnoticed. How much simpler life would be, how many hardships and sins could be averted and how much more would I appreciate what He has done if I would simply tread the path that He walked on. Easier said than done. I am in need of faith to stay the course and grace to cover me for all the times that I stray from what I know is true/good/pure.
I am in awe of how much I have to learn about being a child of God through my son. He rests peacefully at night believing that I will come if he calls, trusting that I will be there when he wakes, and knowing that I will come in the middle of the night to tuck him back into his disheveled sheets. When he disobeys, he runs away to hide from the shame and punishment but returns immediately when I beckon him. He knows that despite the inevitable punishment that awaits him, he will be restored and forgiven. He knows that I love him despite his tendency to be mischievous and even rebellious. He comes to me confidently when he thirsts, is hungry, or simply wants something of value. He incessantly asks for something when his heart is set upon something. He earnestly longs to spend time with me simply because he misses me. He turns to me for comfort when he is afraid. He recognizes my voice calling his name in a crowd and consciously makes an effort to stay within my range of visibility. Only after becoming a parent have I come to realize what Jesus meant when he said that we must have faith like little children. How often do we complicate things by being insincere, dishonest, proud, and deluded by the illusion of self sufficiency. How hard it is to continually strip ourselves of those external trappings, defense mechanisms, and false pretenses. I feel like I am learning how to be a genuine human again every day that I wake up to my son. As I strive to teach him about life, I am forced to re-evaluate what it is exactly about life that I treasure enough to consider worth imparting. To be honest, most of the things that I have come to value are rubbish. Thank you, God, for my son, and for loving me despite my lack of faith and love for you. |
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| This one is for my cousin, Andy, who is turning 2_ at the end of this month.
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